The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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