tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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