would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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