we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
