Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My dick has a subreddit
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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