JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
