i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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