hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
