no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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