i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
