You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
