David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
