Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
