Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
