Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
