Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
