i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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