I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
