I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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