Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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