he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
