My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
