Where did you get a picture of my penis
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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