C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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