Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
