Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
