wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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