It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
