so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
