My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
