Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
