i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
