He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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