Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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