a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
