I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
