sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
