hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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