there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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