Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
