I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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