this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
