He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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