Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please, let me fuck your mom
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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