these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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