i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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