I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
barbara walters just said penis...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Damn victory sex feels great
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
