yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
