I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
