ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
