no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
