i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
